The Way You Made Her Feel

She still remembers

The look in your eyes

The half-smile and glimt

The words you spoke

So short

So hard

So clear

The light around her

The darkness in the room

The sound of the lock

Turning in the door

She can hear her voice

Quietly stating

Just getting my purse

Ready to go now

The feeling of something off

Thoughts going through her mind

It can't be

He won't

Then the words came

And her stomach sank

You knew what you wanted

And you saw a chance

You gave the option

She could take it all

Or just do some

Either way what you wanted

You would have

She was 17 and you were older

The brother of a "friend"

Just driving her home

One hot summer night

Instead you chose to add

To the terror in her mind

You wanted what you saw

And somehow thought it was your right

She told you no

Said you both had to go

People were waiting

But nothing mattered

She could see in your eyes

How it was to be

And so yet again

She fell under a man's mercy

She chose the quickest way

The way to make you finish

Without getting all you wanted

Without getting all of her

She got on her knees

And made it quick

Throat hurting a bit

But then it was over

She made her mind fly

And emotions kept tight

No sign of hurt

No sign to cry

She got up again

And finally you opened the door

She wanted to leave

But you took her to your car

You drove her home

talking as if nothing

Had happened

And all was well

As if she had wanted it

As much as you

You said to not talk about it

To anyone at all

That it was for the best

And was how it should go

She sat quiet and played the game

Just waiting to leave

A voice in her head

Saying you know how to be

The car came near

And she was finally out

One last goodbye

And she went into the house

The voice in her head

Saying keep it inside

Don't tell anyone

Just go on with your life

She sat there numb Then went into the shower To wash off the memories Of what had just happened

She cried for a bit

Then pulled herself together

A part of her felt like it was

Somehow her fault

She ignored the pain

She felt inside

The pain you caused

When you took what you wanted

It wasn't the first

Nor would it be her last

And a part of her heart

Was silently stabbed

A piece fell out

Blood was drawn

A part of the soul

Forever seemed gone

But this girl was still standing

And determined to do

Whatever she could

To get over you

-Rachel Deschington