She still remembers
The look in your eyes
The half-smile and glimt
The words you spoke
So short
So hard
So clear
The light around her
The darkness in the room
The sound of the lock
Turning in the door
She can hear her voice
Quietly stating
Just getting my purse
Ready to go now
The feeling of something off
Thoughts going through her mind
It can't be
He won't
Then the words came
And her stomach sank
You knew what you wanted
And you saw a chance
You gave the option
She could take it all
Or just do some
Either way what you wanted
You would have
She was 17 and you were older
The brother of a "friend"
Just driving her home
One hot summer night
Instead you chose to add
To the terror in her mind
You wanted what you saw
And somehow thought it was your right
She told you no
Said you both had to go
People were waiting
But nothing mattered
She could see in your eyes
How it was to be
And so yet again
She fell under a man's mercy
She chose the quickest way
The way to make you finish
Without getting all you wanted
Without getting all of her
She got on her knees
And made it quick
Throat hurting a bit
But then it was over
She made her mind fly
And emotions kept tight
No sign of hurt
No sign to cry
She got up again
And finally you opened the door
She wanted to leave
But you took her to your car
You drove her home
talking as if nothing
Had happened
And all was well
As if she had wanted it
As much as you
You said to not talk about it
To anyone at all
That it was for the best
And was how it should go
She sat quiet and played the game
Just waiting to leave
A voice in her head
Saying you know how to be
The car came near
And she was finally out
One last goodbye
And she went into the house
The voice in her head
Saying keep it inside
Don't tell anyone
Just go on with your life
She sat there numb Then went into the shower To wash off the memories Of what had just happened
She cried for a bit
Then pulled herself together
A part of her felt like it was
Somehow her fault
She ignored the pain
She felt inside
The pain you caused
When you took what you wanted
It wasn't the first
Nor would it be her last
And a part of her heart
Was silently stabbed
A piece fell out
Blood was drawn
A part of the soul
Forever seemed gone
But this girl was still standing
And determined to do
Whatever she could
To get over you
-Rachel Deschington